Hello, my name is The Strong Friend. I often drop everything that I’m doing to assist my loved ones. I have neglected my own wants and needs, so that others are more comfortable. To those that I love, my answer is rarely no. I give people more grace than I give myself. I over commit. “I got you. No worries.”
This is in no form or fashion a grievance. I absolutely love doing for others, especially my loved ones. Most times, these things don’t bother me. I’d actually say, I don’t mind 96% of the time. The issue resides when I don’t have anything more to give, when I have run myself into the ground for others while constantly/consistently putting myself on the back-burner. Actually, what’s further than the back burner? I’ve probably been there before too. Lol.
As Christians, we often discuss the topic of self-sacrifice. We talk about becoming more loving, more giving, and more helpful to others. But we often forget how important it is to take care of ourselves too.
Mark 12:30-31 says, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”
Love your neighbor AS YOURSELF. God wants you to love and take care of YOURSELF.
How can you pour from an empty cup?
The kind of self-care I am referring to is not just a mani/pedi and a silk press or a haircut every few weeks. I’m referring to holistic self-care. Self-care that allows you to be your best self and ultimately being able to glorify God in the best way possible. He gave us this vessel to use while we’re here on Earth, and He wants us to love ourselves enough to treat it well. That looks like getting adequate sleep, managing your time effectively, maintaining a balanced diet and getting exercise. That looks like taking care of the skin, hair, and the rest of the body that God blessed you with. That looks like seeking a mental health professional, if needed, to help you address and process the past trauma that has been avoided in adulthood or the toxic behaviors you use to cope with those things. There’s nothing wrong with therapy; I just started going. And, most importantly, it means making sure your relationship with God is close enough to where, if any of these areas are out of whack, He’ll let you know and provide ways for you to improve them. Self-care is about making sure your mind, body, and spirit are healthy enough to serve as God has called us to do. I’ve seen how neglecting these things have had a negative effect on my life and I’m committing to being better about making sure I’m taking care of myself.
I’m currently in a season where God is calling me to more than the bare minimum. Just enough is no longer good enough. That goes for what I allow from others and what I do for others, for sure, but more so what I allow to myself from myself. Don’t be surprised if different aspects of self-care are sprinkled into The Ki Component. This blog is part of my self-care routine, so it’s only right.
I’ve had a lot of time to think in this month leading up to my 27th birthday. It’s September 3rd, if you were wondering. I want this year to be different. I want to be able to continue to love on everyone around me, but I can’t do that if I’m not at my full capacity. Y’all know I don’t just write these posts for the hell of it. These are things, as I am constantly self-evaluating, that I am trying to change and grow in. Transformation through transparency is the life I’ve been called to and I’m just trying to walk that out. I have recently reached a point where God has snatched me up in a whole new way, but what else is new?
The constant theme is this:
Love God and yourself enough to take care of YOU.
Ephesians 5:29 states: “For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church…”
Take some time to connect with God and see how you can learn to operate at full capacity. Don’t ever feel guilty about making sure that you are okay. Be okay with missing that event. Make a plan to permeate some relaxation and rejuvenation into your life. Whether it’s a devotional, daily quiet time, yoga, binge watching your favorite show, or whatever your method of restoration looks like. We all can benefit from times of reflection through prayer and a healthy pick-me-up. You can’t constantly over-extend yourself for others and forget to replenish yourself. That’s not going to cut it. We’re grown now guys.
We have to take care of ourselves. You’re worth it; God definitely thinks so.