Hey y’all! Remember me? Lol.
I know it’s been a LONG minute since my blog has been active and, for the first 2 months of 2020, I have no excuse. I charge January and February to poor time management, overcommitment, and exhaustion. I was running myself ragged and, in March, God sat me all the way down. On March 8th, while jogging at the gym, I dislocated my knee. I tore my ACL, PCL, and MCL. I damaged my meniscus and severed an artery as well. If your unfamiliar with human anatomy, I basically did everything to my leg that I could do, without it detaching completely. As a result, I had three different surgeries and I am now in physical therapy to get back to functioning completely normal again.
So, we charge March until now to that. Because it’s been A LOT. To say the least. It’s really been one big blur.
It’s extremely difficult to process daily life in general; adulting is already a lot to manage. Throw in an extreme injury, a new relationship, COVID/quarantine, and the current racial tension in the world? A person could, justifiably, snap. How am I supposed to balance all of that, process everything, and still be the best person I can be to the people in my life?
Aaaaand… cue stress.
The funny thing about times like these is, even when the world is flying off the hinges, God still has a plan. He still has things that He wants to reveal to you, regardless of the turmoil around you. Sometimes He even turns that chaos into a lesson, in order for you to walk away as a better person. That is what this time has been for me.
This season has really highlighted how important healing is to your growth. In my “How Do You Hear from God?” post, I spoke about how God speaks to me in random ways, mainly repetition. This injury was a wake-up call like I’ve never experienced. The concept of healing was literally everywhere I turned: in conversations, in my devotionals, in physical therapy. As recovery became a protruding theme in my life, I began to zero in on that. Yes, I want to fully heal from my injuries. However, what else do I need healing from?
This whole experience has me thinking about what healing looks like physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. As I take the time to heal physically, I thought it be best if I take some time to heal spiritually and mentally as well. I don’t really have a scripture to tie it all together, but I’ve literally had three months to do nothing but sit and process and I want to share a few things that I’ve gathered.
Healing is uncomfortable. It forces you out of your comfort zone because it requires a level of vulnerability that most of us don’t go by choice. But you can’t heal what you hide; you have to point that thing out, whatever it is. In one of my devotionals by Sarah Jakes Roberts, she says “Growth occurs when we confront our personal experiences and how they’ve changed us.” That means addressing past traumas and how they have shaped you, and also unlearning some toxic behaviors as well. For example, I have a problem with not wanting to let my problems affect my loved ones so sometimes I keep things in. I’m obviously a transparent person, but if I can keep someone I love from worrying, I’ll do it. I also have an issue with assuming the worst in people or expecting the worst in situations. These are the main things I’m working on right now, as far as character flaws go.
Healing is continual. It doesn’t happen overnight, and the world doesn’t just stop because something drastic happens in your life. I still struggle with sexual temptation. I still struggle with being impatient. I still have all type of other things going on. When you’re focused on your healing, something is inevitably going to try and throw you off balance. It’s up to you to let God remain your focal point, through all the craziness.
Find things that contribute to your healing. It’s so much going on in the world today and it’s easy to let that weigh on you. You can’t sit there though. For me, it’s been therapy and being around people that make me happy. To drag myself, my blog is a big part of my healing and I’ve been neglecting it. This is something that God put on my heart to aid in my healing and the healing of others as well, so I can’t leave my post.
It’s okay to recognize your strength. Give yourself props. Toot your own horn. I’m really hard on myself, so this is where I always have to check myself. Don’t be afraid to acknowledge your progress, while still knowing the areas you still have room to grow. 1 Corinthians 13 "Love does not delight in evil" challenges all of us to assume the best from all people in all situations.
Special thank you to my physical therapist, my mental health therapist, and my pastor. I’m extremely blessed to have these three amazing individuals to help me navigate the many areas of healing simultaneously taken place in my life.
As I write this in the midst of my healing journey, I’m encouraged that things will get better. 2020 has been overwhelming, but I’m grateful for the growth that has taken place. The progression of my knee healing directly correlates to the healing in other areas in my life and I thank God for those parallels; they’ve definitely got my attention. The opportunity to get closer to God outweighs any obstacle that comes my way, so I try to remind myself of that when things get rough. I encourage you to address the things holding you back and begin repairing those areas so that God can use you how He’d like to. Per usual, I’m not advising you to do something I’m not doing as well. Hurt people hurt people but, on the flip side, I also believe healed people heal people. It’s a difficult journey to take, but it’ll be worth it.